Committed Conversationalist T-Shirts

'Hi, I think I'm doing OK this time.'

Why we need poetry. . .

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

Statue of Christopher Columbus

'I don't think you're trying hard enough to look at things from the sinner's perspective, Reverend.'

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

'Hello, handsome - is that a Billy Cotton ringtone?'

"Bob's into politics. Date Night is more like Debate Night."

Prisoner speech

Social butterfly

'Charles, we hired you distinctly because you're a people person.'

"You've got a vow of silence? How interesting! Tell me all about that!"

Wine and Books Bar.

'Whoa, Buddy, I think you've had enough...'

"Hey, baby - that doesn't mean you!"

"I don’t know if this is just the cashews talking, but I find you absolutely delightful."

'I usually say what I think.'. . .'I usually think what I say.'

"Behold, as I guide our conversation to my narrow area of expertise."

Like a fine wine, some me improve with age.

My mother was right about you. I guess I can take that as a compliment as long as I don't ask, "How so?"

"Do you play?"

'I know about the birds, but what about the bees?'

"Roger might be just right for you. He plans his entire day around the wild thing, too."

"Man cannot live on bread alone - he needs a bit of crumpet too."

'Yes that's right I ordered 2 doubles. Why, did you want a drink too?'

'Nine out of ten doctors think excessive drinking is bad for your health.'