Compassionate Conversationalist Pillows

Homeless person with a sign saying 'I need help' and a businessman with a sign saying 'I don't care!'

'HOMELESS - Anything helps - all major credit and debit cards accepted.'

'There's so much poverty, misery and injustice in the world and it's such hard work to ignore it all!'

'I don't think you're trying hard enough to look at things from the sinner's perspective, Reverend.'

Why we need poetry. . .

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

"We'll less than two metres again, don't know where, don't know when..."

"Don't judge me until you've walked a mile on my medication."

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

"I pick up on people's pain, Alexander. What's wrong?"

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

"Officer, I'd like to report... a sexual assault. I was at a part, this guy... he attacked me."

Heart To Heart

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

Statue of Christopher Columbus

"I've found my voice, Penny. It's deep, wise, and compassionate."

'I'm going to put you in touch with reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

Prisoner speech

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

'Hello, handsome - is that a Billy Cotton ringtone?'

"My main worry is my anxiety."

"Oh, hello darling..."

Social butterfly

'I'll tell you my subtext, if you tell me yours.'

St. Lukes Silent Order

Beaten up man to Good Samaritan: 'Thank you. My insurance doesn't cover roadside service.'

'Charles, we hired you distinctly because you're a people person.'

"Hey, baby - that doesn't mean you!"

"Is it just me or does the price of the milk of human kindness keep going up?"

"I don’t know if this is just the cashews talking, but I find you absolutely delightful."

Neurotic stupidity: 'If you start granting amnesty to people for following their conscience, pretty soon everyone will be following their conscience.'