Compassionate Conversationalist T-Shirts

Homeless person with a sign saying 'I need help' and a businessman with a sign saying 'I don't care!'

'HOMELESS - Anything helps - all major credit and debit cards accepted.'

'There's so much poverty, misery and injustice in the world and it's such hard work to ignore it all!'

'I don't think you're trying hard enough to look at things from the sinner's perspective, Reverend.'

Why we need poetry. . .

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

"We'll less than two metres again, don't know where, don't know when..."

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

"I pick up on people's pain, Alexander. What's wrong?"

"Don't judge me until you've walked a mile on my medication."

"Officer, I'd like to report... a sexual assault. I was at a part, this guy... he attacked me."

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

Heart To Heart

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

'I'm going to put you in touch with reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

Statue of Christopher Columbus

"I've found my voice, Penny. It's deep, wise, and compassionate."

"My main worry is my anxiety."

Prisoner speech

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

"Oh, hello darling..."

Social butterfly

St. Lukes Silent Order

'I'll tell you my subtext, if you tell me yours.'

Beaten up man to Good Samaritan: 'Thank you. My insurance doesn't cover roadside service.'

'Charles, we hired you distinctly because you're a people person.'

"Is it just me or does the price of the milk of human kindness keep going up?"

"Hey, baby - that doesn't mean you!"

Neurotic stupidity: 'If you start granting amnesty to people for following their conscience, pretty soon everyone will be following their conscience.'

"I don’t know if this is just the cashews talking, but I find you absolutely delightful."

'I usually say what I think.'. . .'I usually think what I say.'