Contemplative Conversationalist T-Shirts

"We've changed 'Happy Hour' to 'An Interlude for Reflection'."

St. Lukes Silent Order

Humans...What is their purpose?

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

"Do you mind if I bounce something off you?"

The Thinker?

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.

"Is this as good a bad time as any other bad time you've experienced?"

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

'I believe you're thinking of leaving us, Brother?'

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

Hi, I work at the admissions office of the local university. If you could change the world in three days, what would you do?

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1, 273, 426 steps."

A lesson in wit

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

'He hacked it off because the women in his weekly painting group never stopped gassing!'

Heart To Heart

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

'At least with math and physics you sometimes find the answer.'

"I used to be a young crazy rebel like you you know."

"My salad days have all turned to coleslaw..."

Statue of Christopher Columbus

'No idea. He's been there for as long as I can remember.'

'The secret is to invite good talkers and good listeners and a good laugh track.'

'Dang it! The gals out here leave little to a feller's imagination.'

"Remarkable... a near infinite expanse of water and sky..." "Impressive water bowl!"