Compassionate Conversationalists T-Shirts

Ignoring the homeless

Why we need poetry. . .

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

"Do you mind if I bounce something off you?"

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"We'll less than two metres again, don't know where, don't know when..."

"I pick up on people's pain, Alexander. What's wrong?"

"Don't judge me until you've walked a mile on my medication."

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

'He hacked it off because the women in his weekly painting group never stopped gassing!'

Heart To Heart

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1, 273, 426 steps."

A lesson in wit

"Officer, I'd like to report... a sexual assault. I was at a part, this guy... he attacked me."

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

"I've found my voice, Penny. It's deep, wise, and compassionate."

'I'm going to put you in touch with reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

'No idea. He's been there for as long as I can remember.'

'The secret is to invite good talkers and good listeners and a good laugh track.'

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

'Dang it! The gals out here leave little to a feller's imagination.'