Companionable Conversationalist T-Shirts

A teacup and teapot

PSA Banter.

Why we need poetry. . .

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

'That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!'

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

Snow is falling...

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

Heart To Heart

"You look quite presentable when you make the effort. Your ex-wife always told me you scrubbed up well."

'Well - how has everyone wasted time and energy today?'

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

'I don't think you're trying hard enough to look at things from the sinner's perspective, Reverend.'

'Every time I go on an ego trip, I get hijacked by terrorists!'

'It says, the higher a man's I.Q., the longer he's a virgin... well, bud... here's your Nobel Prize nomination!'

"All the good ones are neutered."

"I'm using my married name right now, but I'm keeping my maiden name on ice, just in case."

Social butterfly

'Sam's not really a seafaring man but he can yo-ho-ho with the best of them.'

'I'll tell you my subtext, if you tell me yours.'

"What if I tried again with an English accent?"

Nice Old Ladies Tend to Look at the Bright Side of Things: 'As kids my brother and I took turns beating each other up!' 'Well, I think it's wonderful when kids take turns!'

'Charles, we hired you distinctly because you're a people person.'

'Great lunch box.'

"Hey, baby - that doesn't mean you!"

'I take after my Daddy - He's a confirmed batchelor!'

'We're rich! We're rich! My mum's got goldstones!'