Empathetic Conversationalist T-Shirts

"If you want to speak 'with' someone that means you're opened-minded..."

Why we need poetry. . .

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

Cares and woes.

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

"We must do something about these refugees..."

Heart To Heart

"Thanks, I knew I could count on you to turn my problem into something way worse that happened to you."

'Well - how has everyone wasted time and energy today?'

'I have this constant ringing in my ears. I think I have tinnitus.' - 'Does it sound like an 'eeeeeee' or a 'shhhhh'?' - 'It's like the murmer of a thousand forgotten souls quietly lamenting past sorrows.' - 'Hmmm. I don't have a checkbox for that, sadly.

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

Statue of Christopher Columbus

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

'I don't know how you stand listening to people's problems all of the time, Doctor Barnes.'

'I don't think you're trying hard enough to look at things from the sinner's perspective, Reverend.'

Social butterfly

Nice Old Ladies Tend to Look at the Bright Side of Things: 'As kids my brother and I took turns beating each other up!' 'Well, I think it's wonderful when kids take turns!'

'Yes, puberty did put me through a lot of stress. . . but it was my daughters puberty.'

'I'll tell you my subtext, if you tell me yours.'

4th of July and PTSD

'Charles, we hired you distinctly because you're a people person.'

"I don’t know if this is just the cashews talking, but I find you absolutely delightful."

Deflate counselling service

"Hey, baby - that doesn't mean you!"

"You haven't had sex since 1959? You shouldn't complain - it's only ten past eight now..."

'I usually say what I think.'. . .'I usually think what I say.'

"When euphemism time comes which would you prefer - 'passed away' or should I just say that he boxed?"

"Hopefully my body language tells you all you need to know."