Compassionate Conversationalists Pillows

Ignoring the homeless

Why we need poetry. . .

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

"Do you mind if I bounce something off you?"

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.

"I pick up on people's pain, Alexander. What's wrong?"

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

"We'll less than two metres again, don't know where, don't know when..."

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

"Don't judge me until you've walked a mile on my medication."

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

A lesson in wit

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1, 273, 426 steps."

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

"Officer, I'd like to report... a sexual assault. I was at a part, this guy... he attacked me."

'He hacked it off because the women in his weekly painting group never stopped gassing!'

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

Heart To Heart

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

"I've found my voice, Penny. It's deep, wise, and compassionate."

'I'm going to put you in touch with reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

'No idea. He's been there for as long as I can remember.'

"My main worry is my anxiety."

'But enough about me...Let's talk about you!'

'Back in 1956 you were the youngest Briton to cover the Hungarian uprising. You are presently writing your memoirs in Sardinia. First question: how do you feel about the sorry state the London Underground is in?'