Contemplative Conversationalist Gifts

"We've changed 'Happy Hour' to 'An Interlude for Reflection'."

St. Lukes Silent Order

Humans...What is their purpose?

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

"Do you mind if I bounce something off you?"

The Thinker?

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"Is this as good a bad time as any other bad time you've experienced?"

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

'He hacked it off because the women in his weekly painting group never stopped gassing!'

Heart To Heart

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

Hi, I work at the admissions office of the local university. If you could change the world in three days, what would you do?

James Baldwin

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1, 273, 426 steps."

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

A lesson in wit

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

'I believe you're thinking of leaving us, Brother?'

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

'At least with math and physics you sometimes find the answer.'

"I used to be a young crazy rebel like you you know."

"My salad days have all turned to coleslaw..."

Statue of Christopher Columbus

'But enough about me...Let's talk about you!'

'The secret is to invite good talkers and good listeners and a good laugh track.'

'No idea. He's been there for as long as I can remember.'