Mindful Conversationalist Gifts

"Long time no see! How are you doing?"

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

"Is this as good a bad time as any other bad time you've experienced?"

Yogi back in 5.

Mobile Phones, "Now we are together we will proceed to the business of the day."

Heart To Heart

"I am staying ‘present,’ and presently she’s annoying me!"

Person talks on phone as other blogs.

Hi, I work at the admissions office of the local university. If you could change the world in three days, what would you do?

'Well - how has everyone wasted time and energy today?'

"My salad days have all turned to coleslaw..."

Statue of Christopher Columbus

'I don't think you're trying hard enough to look at things from the sinner's perspective, Reverend.'

Prisoner speech

"Bob's into politics. Date Night is more like Debate Night."

'Every time I go on an ego trip, I get hijacked by terrorists!'

'It says, the higher a man's I.Q., the longer he's a virgin... well, bud... here's your Nobel Prize nomination!'

St. Lukes Silent Order

"You haven't had sex since 1959? You shouldn't complain - it's only ten past eight now..."

Sex therapist...

'Whoa, Buddy, I think you've had enough...'

'I usually say what I think.'. . .'I usually think what I say.'

'. . . and nobody noticed the elephant in the room.'

"Could you tell me where I am? Not geographically - but in an existentialist way."

"We've changed 'Happy Hour' to 'An Interlude for Reflection'."

Thinking about Peace

'Yes that's right I ordered 2 doubles. Why, did you want a drink too?'

"Well, Carmen, I must go now... Some of us are working on St. Peter's new gate. It's a lot bigger these days...with more people coming through... You know...because everyone's putting in good words...for everyone still down here..."

"Emotionally he's a child and physically he's a child."

'I'm not writing 'gifts optional' on your birthday party invitation again this year 'cause no one got you a gift.'

'I've been thinking about this whole Santa thing.'

'Hello, my name is Bill and I've been - aaaargh! I did it again!'