Spirited Conversationalist Gifts

"Of course, you see everything from a very special perspective."

'Nine out of ten doctors think excessive drinking is bad for your health.'

"I'm really going to miss getting steamed at Anthony Lewis."

'Whoa, Buddy, I think you've had enough...'

'Yes that's right I ordered 2 doubles. Why, did you want a drink too?'

"How does drinking help with your brainstorming ideas?"

"Bob's into politics. Date Night is more like Debate Night."

"I'm filled with the holiday spirit. Single malt scotch."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

PSA Banter.

Why we need poetry. . .

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

"Darling, do you ever worry that we're becoming some sort of Merchant-Ivory production?"

Crow and fox

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"Are we ‘still working’? No, we’re still eating. You, however, are ‘still working’—now get lost!"

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

Jokes machine.

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

"It says here you can think on your feet. What happens when you sit down?"