Faithful Admirer Pillows

Choirboy

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

Love

'Not here - home!'

Priest

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

Monk Prompt

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"Any other reason for your disappointment with God other than your team has never won a Superbowl?"

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

Kid praying: 'If it's okay with you, don't record this one.'

Sunday Sermon: Does God Prefer Particular Sports Teams?

"So join me in prayer for those who are damned if they do and damned if they don't..."

"My fellow mantises...I can barely believe this, but it has come to my attention that there is a lack of prayer in this church!"

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

"The buck really stops with him."

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

Statue fishing.

"Well, he loves people, the birds that fly, the fish that swim, and all the creatures of the forest."

"So, next week, if it's okay with our wives, wanna have another playdate?"

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

'It's an innovative way to boost attendance.'