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Choirboy

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'Not here - home!'

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

Love

Priest

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

Monk Prompt

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"Any other reason for your disappointment with God other than your team has never won a Superbowl?"

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

Kid praying: 'If it's okay with you, don't record this one.'

"My fellow mantises...I can barely believe this, but it has come to my attention that there is a lack of prayer in this church!"

"So join me in prayer for those who are damned if they do and damned if they don't..."

Sunday Sermon: Does God Prefer Particular Sports Teams?

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

Spiritual Lives Matter

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"So, next week, if it's okay with our wives, wanna have another playdate?"

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

"Well, he loves people, the birds that fly, the fish that swim, and all the creatures of the forest."

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

"The buck really stops with him."

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

Statue fishing.

'It's an innovative way to boost attendance.'