Faith Uplifter Gifts

"Relax - we're blessings in disguise."

Holy Water and Ice Blocks

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

A surprise in heaven

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

"Sure, it's Good News, but is it fake news?"

Nun Binning the Devil

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

'To be honest, it's a bit hard to swallow.'

God is for life not just for Christmas.

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

'On the other hand, you must never, ever work in mysterious ways.'

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

Holy Bible

Chill Out Worshippers!

"If you prayed to Google instead of God, you might get a constructive response."

Saying Grace.

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

"Of course there's an afterlife. It's called 'death'."

Church Restoration Fund.

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

'Look at all of God's children. Then again, they might be just thousands of tiny, little circles.'

The end is near - well, at least for the sandwich board guy.

'Ok Preacher, here's the deal. You back off I back off, and everyone is happy...'