Fairy Tale Tweaker Gifts

'Pretty clever how the stepsisters got out of marrying the prince.'

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"Guess who brought king cake!"

"Just let her believe in fairies a little while longer."

'Upon entering the rain forest...' 'Thousands of unknown species, and we can fool around with the genes of every one of them.'

The Demise of Tinkerbell

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

'A coach would be nice. But vegetable will get me a BMW?'

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

'I'm not a 'Ghost', I'm an Ectoplasmic American.'

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

Royal Love

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

Fairy tale

Old MacDonald had a genetically modified farm.

"I never turn into a prince on a first date."

A man comes home to his gingerbread house where his wife offers him cream soda.

'The hippiest dryads were often farouche.'

Jack and the Beanstalk.

Sugar Plum Fairy

A big bloke dressed as a pink fairy

Alice Through the Looking Glass - The Snap-Dragon-Fly

"It's all yours now."

'Mom, instead of reading me my rights tonight, how about reading me a fairy tale.'

Cinderella

I told you you weren't allowed to stretch before the seventh inning. Security.

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."

"And if, in court, you need to varnish the truth, don't make it high gloss."

Bullfighting might be more widely accepted if it had a different name. They should call it "dodgebull"! (Published originally on April 27, 2015.)

Unicorn Hoopla

"Your cholesterol level is through the roof, you've got a nasty case of gingivitis, and to ice things off... yeast confection."

Cinderella