Fairy Tale Revisitor Gifts

Frank and Ernest's Updated Fairy Tales. Before I work on the thorn, I need to talk about your insurance.

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

Once upon a time and a half. Buick and the Beast.

Updated Fairy Tales. Having all of them around sure sweetened my stimulus check!

"Heart transplant surgery waiting room"

Mad Hatter's tea party.

'I'll place the bets. You just be sure to hit the hare with the tranquilizer.'

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

"Skip to the part where the princess climbs to the top of the corporate ladder."

TOXIC TIMES

"This isn't how the story went at all."

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

This wasn't quite the fairytale ending Colin had anticipated.

"My client would like to plead 'not guilty' to all three charges of damage to private property."

Alice Through the Looking Glass - The Walrus and Carpenter.

' You shouldn't believe everything you read in the fairy stories.'

Little Red Riding Hood

"What if the dish and the spoon run away together?" "Not bad, Doug, not bad at all." "And a crockpot tries to lure the dish away with cash and loads of jewels!" "Come on, Rita! That's been done to death. Too derivative."

Mermaids

'Did she marry the prince for love for for money?'

William Tell (alternate)

"I like 'Cinderella' - it's just that I feel the characters of the stepsisters are underwritten."

Hansel and Gretel, now microwavable.

"I appreciate your offer, but I was really hoping to marry a doctor."

'I don't care if I have been here for a hundred years! What kind of pervert kisses a girl while she's sleeping?!'

If it were today. . .

Disney Princess 1950s - 3000

Alice Through The Looking Glass - The Red King and the Red Queen.

Fairy narratives

'Typical media bias. First they label the wolf 'the big BAD wolf' then they only give Little Red Riding Hood's point of view.'

Little Dutch boy prevents sand from falling in hour glass.

Wolf in bed.

Some things Alice did in wonderland have been glossed over.

"Did Robin Hood give to the poor only for the deduction?"

"I—I miss my frog wife."