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"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

"Heart transplant surgery waiting room"

Mad Hatter's tea party.

'I'll place the bets. You just be sure to hit the hare with the tranquilizer.'

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

"Skip to the part where the princess climbs to the top of the corporate ladder."

TOXIC TIMES

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

"This isn't how the story went at all."

This wasn't quite the fairytale ending Colin had anticipated.

"My client would like to plead 'not guilty' to all three charges of damage to private property."

Alice Through the Looking Glass - The Walrus and Carpenter.

' You shouldn't believe everything you read in the fairy stories.'

Little Red Riding Hood

"What if the dish and the spoon run away together?" "Not bad, Doug, not bad at all." "And a crockpot tries to lure the dish away with cash and loads of jewels!" "Come on, Rita! That's been done to death. Too derivative."

Mermaids

'Did she marry the prince for love for for money?'

"I like 'Cinderella' - it's just that I feel the characters of the stepsisters are underwritten."

William Tell (alternate)

Hansel and Gretel, now microwavable.

'I don't care if I have been here for a hundred years! What kind of pervert kisses a girl while she's sleeping?!'

"I appreciate your offer, but I was really hoping to marry a doctor."

If it were today. . .

Fairy narratives

Disney Princess 1950s - 3000

Alice Through The Looking Glass - The Red King and the Red Queen.

'Typical media bias. First they label the wolf 'the big BAD wolf' then they only give Little Red Riding Hood's point of view.'

Little Dutch boy prevents sand from falling in hour glass.

Wolf in bed.

Some things Alice did in wonderland have been glossed over.

"I—I miss my frog wife."

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll And Mister Softee

"Did Robin Hood give to the poor only for the deduction?"