Fairy Tale Reteller Gifts

Comes the Revolution Fairy Tales

"I don’t know why it’s a story about three little pigs – it just is."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

The tooth fairy.

Dragon Hair-dryer.

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

The Demise of Tinkerbell

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

"Eat my dust!"

"Puss in cement boots"

"Well, that one got away."

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

Three lanes of traffic with the first two lanes crowded with turtles. The third lane (to the left) a couple rabbits speeding along without any traffic. An easy pass sign has carrots replacing dollars.

'You're doing a play in kindergarten?'

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

'A coach would be nice. But vegetable will get me a BMW?'

'Look, you're just going to have to cut back. Times have changed. . . Today's kids are full of hydrogenated oils, trans fats, corn syrup, and all kinds of preservatives.'

Little Red Riding Carpet

'Of course it's safe. It has no preservatives, no additives, no artificial coloring...'

Wicca Heritage Centre: Hansel and Gretel stayed here.

"You wake up after 100 years and the first thing you do is check your phone?"

"Rapunzel's gone punk."

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

'I think he would come back to earth if women would just stop kissing him.'

Storm in a magic lamp.

"I now pronounce you a partial place setting."

'Sorry... I never kiss on the first date.'