Fairy Tale Storyteller Gifts

Little Red Riding Hood

Shepherd and eurydice

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

Swan Fairy Tales

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

The Fourth Little Pig

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

Edgar Allen Poe

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

Sure, he likes it here - he's a cartoonist.