Fairy Tale Humorist Gifts

'The three little pigs attended a professional development seminar on dealing with bullies and they were never bothered by the big bad wolf again.'

Modern day Goldilocks

'I think this might explain the disappearing frog population.'

"Mirror, mirror on the wall who is the fairest of them all?"

"You just keep him away from my kid, okay?"

"I told you getting bangs was a stupid idea."

"My missing son? About this high, loves climbing and answers to the name Jack..."

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

Barbeque Casualty.

Fiscal cliff - US dollar falling over the edge.

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

"Now there's something you don't see everyday. How long have you been using dachshunds as sled dogs.?"

"If she thinks I'm just gonna come running on home, wagging my tail behind me..."

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

Snowman ice fishing.

'It's not a desert island - it's Australia.'

'Ugh, we've got termites, destructive little pests.'

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

A car's soul escapes as it expires at the meter.

Woman's lover turns out to be a rhino

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

Gone to lunch back in 10 mins.

"Well, I'm not a lone wolf on purpose! I was separated from my pack over three months ago and I can't find it again. . ."

'No, Rusty, this one! You're barking up the wrong tree.'

"A cluck cluck here and a cluck cluck there,...is that all I meant to you?"

'...in sickness or health, inflation or deflation,marriage tax credit or debit...'

"I've invented the wheel. We're going to be rich."

'I don't know why I'm so unpopular - I haven't got a nasty bone in my body.'

"About time they did something about the rats!"

Punch Initials - O

'Go on Darling, play in the soil-pit for a while...'