Storybook Humorist Gifts

Snow White and the Seven Concern Trolls

Dorothy's illiteracy becomes all too painfully apparent.

"Well - you've lost your no-claims bonus. . ."

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

Glance Exchange

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

'He was a handsome young prince when I married him.'

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

"It's just a tree."

"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from restless dreams, transformed into a monstrous vermin, he thought to himself: never again bourbon and tequila in the same night, and this time, I mean it."

"How about a hand."

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

'Thanks, we really appreciate this. Yeah, the middle button. Don't worry, it's auto-focus - just aim and shoot.'

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

',,,And we'd really like a heart for the Tin Man,,,'

Self Help / Elf Help.

'How can he be depressed when all he eats are Happy Meals?'

"I cross the road to forget."