Folktale Reteller Gifts

'I told you not to trumpet so hard.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

"Eat my dust!"

Three lanes of traffic with the first two lanes crowded with turtles. The third lane (to the left) a couple rabbits speeding along without any traffic. An easy pass sign has carrots replacing dollars.

Horror Stories.

Updated Fairy Tales. Having all of them around sure sweetened my stimulus check!

Once upon a time and a half. Buick and the Beast.

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

Early accounting scandals.

'Eric! Look for his pressure point! He's got to have a pressure point somewhere!'

'...And another thing, I am not your best friend, thats just an old wives' tale.'

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

'Do you honestly expect me to believe that fairy tale?

"Please disregard the previous message - it was inadvertently sent to everyone on our list."

"If the press brings up your past just double down on 'The sky is falling!'."

Fairy tales reimagined for the 21st century. Jack and the Beanstalk

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

"Your story is quite the booze-filled dive into the depths of depravity. Is this your first children's book?"

Yeah, yeah, yeah - tell my editor the fables are almost done, and she'll have them as soon as

'Isn't 'trolling' usually done in deep water on a boat?'

"Look! The Emperor has no clothes!"

I swear, we rode right through the town and my mistress Lady Godiva wasn't wearing a thing...

'It started off as stories I told my wife.'

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your...Hey!'

This wasn't quite the fairytale ending Colin had anticipated.

Little Red Riding Hood

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

Aesop's Fables - The Lion and the Mouse

"An amusing story no doubt Captain, but let me tell you about my experiences with the head hunters of the Amazon!"

'That's better than your fish stories, Dad.'

'Stinkin low carb housing.'

'That doesn't look too good. You really should see a mouse about that.'

Anecdote Magazine