Fairway Newbie Gifts

'You've never played golf before, have you?'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'Lost your ball again?' - 'No, I've got my ball. I've lost my club.'

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

'Not that slowly back...'

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

"Oh no, it's gone in that silly little hole again."

Club House. An eighty dollar green fee! -- I haven't even teed-off yet and I'm already in the hole!

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

Tee for Two!

'I'd do better if I knew all the words you know!'

'Do I take it that you will not be requiring my services on the back nine?'

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

"Extremely Minature Golf." They're playing golf down there today. A chlorophyll molecule is collecting green fees and some H2O molecules are a water hazard. The adrenaline group seems to have gotten a burst of energy -- They're playing through the slower groups in front of them. I see the electron is good, always a negative score. And the nucleus is a solid player, every shot is hit right down the center. But nobody can match the DNA's consistency --- He's able to perfectly replicate his s

It's a tradition. On hole number 1 in the first round of the season, Ernie always says that's the best shot I've hit this year!

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

'This has to be the longest course I've ever played!' (Sign with Gas/Food/Lodging Next Tee)

"I think I see your problem...You're standing too close to the ball"

'Grown-ups sure make playing a lot of work.'

'Whenever Ralph finds a golf ball he puts it in the basement.'

'You're away, Doc!'

'I don't know what these things are, but Master spends a lot of time away from the house with them...'

Golfers lost on the road

I warned you to keep it low!

'Well done, Evan; you only missed a hole-in-one by 7 strokes.'

'This course is a great ego builder.'

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

'What a divot?'

A man holding a golf club eying up his shot

Caddy With A Cool Box

Golf