Fairway Frustration Gifts

'Do I take it that you will not be requiring my services on the back nine?'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

Golfing Bishop.

Do you want to win the game or my business?

'Lost your ball again?' - 'No, I've got my ball. I've lost my club.'

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

"Oh no, it's gone in that silly little hole again."

'You've never played golf before, have you?'

Club House. An eighty dollar green fee! -- I haven't even teed-off yet and I'm already in the hole!

"Extremely Minature Golf." They're playing golf down there today. A chlorophyll molecule is collecting green fees and some H2O molecules are a water hazard. The adrenaline group seems to have gotten a burst of energy -- They're playing through the slower groups in front of them. I see the electron is good, always a negative score. And the nucleus is a solid player, every shot is hit right down the center. But nobody can match the DNA's consistency --- He's able to perfectly replicate his s

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

Tee for Two!

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

'This has to be the longest course I've ever played!' (Sign with Gas/Food/Lodging Next Tee)

Golfers lost on the road

The 18-hole course is to the left and a 9-hole course is to the right --- Which do you want to play? I'll decide after my first tee shot?

'Well done, Evan; you only missed a hole-in-one by 7 strokes.'

"I think I see your problem...You're standing too close to the ball"

I warned you to keep it low!

'Whenever Ralph finds a golf ball he puts it in the basement.'

'I don't know what these things are, but Master spends a lot of time away from the house with them...'

'This course is a great ego builder.'

Hit by a golf ball and injured...

'What a divot?'

'Thanks, but I know all about the Dogs of the Dow. My problem is I end up with them, instead of starting.'

'My ball would be on the green if you hadn't been in the way!'

Golf

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

Will sneak through the woods and throw your ball back into the fairway.

'My name is John and I'm a golfaholic!'