Fairway Fanatics Gifts

"If he was holding up play, we'd call it 'justified homicide'"

'It's a nice course. I just wish it wasn't so close to the airport.'

Worms saying as golf ball approaches: 'Right lads - let's stop it going down!'

Golfer accidentally causes a plane crash.

"It's hard to say if your game is improving, but that's definitely the first divot-in-one I've ever seen."

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

Big Hank's shooting gallery.

The Scanner Of Love.

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

'Lost your ball again?' - 'No, I've got my ball. I've lost my club.'

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'

Tunnel of Infatuation

'He lived and died for golf.'

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

"That's the Bronco Whisperer. He'll have that wild stallion broken in a day or two."

"How do you expect him to grow up to be a pro if he doesn't start young?"

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

"Oh no, it's gone in that silly little hole again."

Club House. An eighty dollar green fee! -- I haven't even teed-off yet and I'm already in the hole!

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

It's a tradition. On hole number 1 in the first round of the season, Ernie always says that's the best shot I've hit this year!

"Jim, just put that hole behind you."

Tee for Two!

"Extremely Minature Golf." They're playing golf down there today. A chlorophyll molecule is collecting green fees and some H2O molecules are a water hazard. The adrenaline group seems to have gotten a burst of energy -- They're playing through the slower groups in front of them. I see the electron is good, always a negative score. And the nucleus is a solid player, every shot is hit right down the center. But nobody can match the DNA's consistency --- He's able to perfectly replicate his s

'I'd do better if I knew all the words you know!'

"Trust me, darling. It was only a bumper car ride. I promise, it won't affect your no claims bonus."

'Worst stand trap ever!'

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

'This has to be the longest course I've ever played!' (Sign with Gas/Food/Lodging Next Tee)

'Good morning Walters, I see you've mad a speedy recovery from your bout with smallpox!'

'Grown-ups sure make playing a lot of work.'