Fairway Fanatics Gifts

"If he was holding up play, we'd call it 'justified homicide'"

'It's a nice course. I just wish it wasn't so close to the airport.'

Worms saying as golf ball approaches: 'Right lads - let's stop it going down!'

Golfer accidentally causes a plane crash.

"It's hard to say if your game is improving, but that's definitely the first divot-in-one I've ever seen."

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

Big Hank's shooting gallery.

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

'Lost your ball again?' - 'No, I've got my ball. I've lost my club.'

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

'He lived and died for golf.'

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

"How do you expect him to grow up to be a pro if he doesn't start young?"

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

"That's the Bronco Whisperer. He'll have that wild stallion broken in a day or two."

"Oh no, it's gone in that silly little hole again."

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

'I'd do better if I knew all the words you know!'

Tee for Two!

"Jim, just put that hole behind you."

"Trust me, darling. It was only a bumper car ride. I promise, it won't affect your no claims bonus."

'Worst stand trap ever!'

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

'This has to be the longest course I've ever played!' (Sign with Gas/Food/Lodging Next Tee)

'Good morning Walters, I see you've mad a speedy recovery from your bout with smallpox!'

'You've lost it Dad - It's gone into that little hole with the flag in it.'

Tunnel of Love (Bugs eating each other).

'Well done, Evan; you only missed a hole-in-one by 7 strokes.'

"I think I see your problem...You're standing too close to the ball"

Ride Bucky/Fly U.F.O.

I warned you to keep it low!