Heavenly Fairway Lover Gifts

You'll like playing golf up here. It's a private course only open to those who get past the pearly gates. The ball flies a long way because of the altitude! With wings, there's no need for golf carts. And the best thing is, you have all of eternity to improve your score! That still won't be enough time!

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

Golfing Bishop.

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

'Lost your ball again?' - 'No, I've got my ball. I've lost my club.'

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

"Oh no, it's gone in that silly little hole again."

Club House. An eighty dollar green fee! -- I haven't even teed-off yet and I'm already in the hole!

"Extremely Minature Golf." They're playing golf down there today. A chlorophyll molecule is collecting green fees and some H2O molecules are a water hazard. The adrenaline group seems to have gotten a burst of energy -- They're playing through the slower groups in front of them. I see the electron is good, always a negative score. And the nucleus is a solid player, every shot is hit right down the center. But nobody can match the DNA's consistency --- He's able to perfectly replicate his s

'Two please-and I mean TWO boats!'

Tee for Two!

'This has to be the longest course I've ever played!' (Sign with Gas/Food/Lodging Next Tee)

I warned you to keep it low!

Golfers lost on the road

'Well done, Evan; you only missed a hole-in-one by 7 strokes.'

'That takes you into double figures and we're not off the tee yet!'

'I don't know what these things are, but Master spends a lot of time away from the house with them...'

"I think I see your problem...You're standing too close to the ball"

'Whenever Ralph finds a golf ball he puts it in the basement.'

"'Smoking' or 'Non-Smoking'?"

'What a divot?'

Welcome to Fairway...The town with 536 holes of golf!

Golf

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

'Thanks, but I know all about the Dogs of the Dow. My problem is I end up with them, instead of starting.'

'My name is John and I'm a golfaholic!'

"Mind if we play through?"

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball'

This Sportsman is 'Playing Through the Green'.

"Well. First of all, your stance is a little wide."

'It's a nice course. I just wish it wasn't so close to the airport.'

You are not permitted to accept physical assistance when playing your shots...