Failure Humor Fan Pillows

Orville was so close the landing the big accounts.

Skipping Horse

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

The Brothers Grime

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

Trump Poutine

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Dog in casino.

Beer Parasol.

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

'More government surveillance!'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."