Failure Humor Fan Pillows

Orville was so close the landing the big accounts.

Skipping Horse

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

The Brothers Grime

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

10 K Tail-Chase

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Trump Poutine

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Dog in casino.

The Snooze Bar.

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Beer Parasol.

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

tRUMp, Pirate President

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

No, I don

'More government surveillance!'

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'