Failure Humor Lover Pillows

Flopsy wakes up one day and suddenly realizes why she never succeeded at anything.

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

"Would you like me to leave room for us to get back together?"

Dyslexic Palm Reading

"Of course failure is an option; I use it all the time!"

Emma's Bridal Wear: Gowns Veils Trains

'Bless you...'

"Call the inspector and tell him to cancel today, that something has come up."

'You know how they say, no matter how bad you got it, there's always someone worse off? Well I'm that someone.'

"It's the best bag I've ever had, I can get everything in it."

'Unleaded essential users only, police, fire, rubber dingy salesmen'

A woman shops for choir robes in sizes 'small' 'large' and 'large but think they are small'.

It's only firing on 87 cylinders.

'Well my problem is that I can never tell if a girl likes me or not.'

"I know there's plenty more fish in the sea, Arron, but your bait's too small to attract anything else."

"It's not polite to point."

'Say, isn't that our goldfish?'

Frog gets the Fly. Ouch

Warning - Earthquake coming!

The Archer and His Broken Arrow.

Golf Cart Punctures

Warning contains Nuts

"Laugh all you want, but my Bunny-Slippers keep my feet nice and warm..."

'Misfortune Cookies: A piano will fall on your motorcycle in the near future.'

"Sorry, I haven't had chance to watch much TV since I went to turn down the radio, tripped over a magazine and a framed poster fell on my head..."

Orville was so close the landing the big accounts.

We are Fragile!

'I think I preferred the old office parties.'

'You're not gonna believe this, but I ran out of gas!'

'Maybe we should start the meeting with a 'Getting to know each other' ice-breaker. Would anyone like to share their sexual fantasies?'

"Me?! I thought you brought a washer!"

No size 18 woman no cry

'It's not you, Frank... it's your little cock...'