Failure Humor Lover Gifts

Flopsy wakes up one day and suddenly realizes why she never succeeded at anything.

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

"Of course failure is an option; I use it all the time!"

"Would you like me to leave room for us to get back together?"

Emma's Bridal Wear: Gowns Veils Trains

Dyslexic Palm Reading

'It took us 12 years to genetically engineer him. We are going to make millions!'

'Bless you...'

"Call the inspector and tell him to cancel today, that something has come up."

'You know how they say, no matter how bad you got it, there's always someone worse off? Well I'm that someone.'

"It's the best bag I've ever had, I can get everything in it."

Things you don't want to hear on a blind date.

'Unleaded essential users only, police, fire, rubber dingy salesmen'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders.

A woman shops for choir robes in sizes 'small' 'large' and 'large but think they are small'.

'Well my problem is that I can never tell if a girl likes me or not.'

'Say, isn't that our goldfish?'

"I know there's plenty more fish in the sea, Arron, but your bait's too small to attract anything else."

"It's not polite to point."

Frog gets the Fly. Ouch

Warning - Earthquake coming!

We are Fragile!

Orville was so close the landing the big accounts.

"Sorry, I haven't had chance to watch much TV since I went to turn down the radio, tripped over a magazine and a framed poster fell on my head..."

'Misfortune Cookies: A piano will fall on your motorcycle in the near future.'

"Laugh all you want, but my Bunny-Slippers keep my feet nice and warm..."

Warning contains Nuts

The Archer and His Broken Arrow.

Golf Cart Punctures

'I think I preferred the old office parties.'

'You're not gonna believe this, but I ran out of gas!'

'Maybe we should start the meeting with a 'Getting to know each other' ice-breaker. Would anyone like to share their sexual fantasies?'

"Me?! I thought you brought a washer!"

No size 18 woman no cry