Fads Pillows

"Face it, Tim, that cute little Pet Rock you bought in 1976 is now a full-grown boulder - it's time to set him free!"

"Girls! Stop fighting over the friendship bracelets."

The Chia Pet

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

"Did you see that trimmed-up earlier than thou look on her face, just then?"

"We couldn't find a raw-vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, non-G.M.O. cake for your birthday, so we got you nothing."

"I can't remember if I'm off red meat, or eating nothing but red meat."

Loom Bands Craze: 'It's supposed to be a bracelet, Mum.'

"It's got my current Wordle winning streak on it."

"In this restaurant, quality control means I must approve every picture you take of the food."

"I want you to meet these guys-they've got the hottest new stupid thing on the Internet."

The Gluten is Free. RUN!

"He's taking selfies again. More anesthesia!"

"None of our items are gluten-free, but they are prepared by people who are."

'Hey, man, that's not how we do the flash mob!'

'Enough with the eye of newt. Do you know how many calories there are in newt eyes?'

"I'm a big devotee of fasting."

"It's sugar, fat, gluten and lactose free...They say it will help you live longer."

"Would it be possible for you to take a photo of my meal and post it on social media?"

"He'll be a little late. He's working on his Wordle."

"Actually, kale is toxic."

"I need a five letter word that starts with 'Ca'."

Firewood for Sale

If it had been today...

"That's a portrait photographer. He take youies."

"Sorry, but I don't see the 'Litter Box Challenge' going viral."

"What is your N-Ration?. . . Selfie per minute Narcissus ratio?"

'. . . You're starting an anti-social network. . .'

'I hope these are gluten-free.'

"I follow the paleo diet. Anything you can choke down."

"Alright, I admit stopping to take a selfie outside of the bank, was a mistake."

"I have a food intolerance - I can only eat photogenic food."

Unfortunately, Michael's 'wine straw' invention never really caught on.

"It's lactose-free! It's chemistry-free! It's free from animal by-products! It's the milk without milk!!!"