
"Face it, Tim, that cute little Pet Rock you bought in 1976 is now a full-grown boulder - it's time to set him free!"
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"Face it, Tim, that cute little Pet Rock you bought in 1976 is now a full-grown boulder - it's time to set him free!"
"Girls! Stop fighting over the friendship bracelets."
The Chia Pet
The Fad Herald cometh. I bow to thee, Herald! Hear ye: The following trends are now in: Electric cars, charitable foundations, face masks – again – simultaneous theater and streaming release movies. The following items are out: French fries … Dang … balanced budget, blockbuster movies, and … uh-oh. Vaping. Herald down!!!
Bernie gets swept up by the cup-stacking craze.
"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"
'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).
"Did you see that trimmed-up earlier than thou look on her face, just then?"
"We couldn't find a raw-vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, non-G.M.O. cake for your birthday, so we got you nothing."
"I can't remember if I'm off red meat, or eating nothing but red meat."
"I want you to meet these guys-they've got the hottest new stupid thing on the Internet."
"It's got my current Wordle winning streak on it."
"In this restaurant, quality control means I must approve every picture you take of the food."
Loom Bands Craze: 'It's supposed to be a bracelet, Mum.'
The Gluten is Free. RUN!
"He's taking selfies again. More anesthesia!"
"None of our items are gluten-free, but they are prepared by people who are."
'Hey, man, that's not how we do the flash mob!'
'Enough with the eye of newt. Do you know how many calories there are in newt eyes?'
"I'm a big devotee of fasting."
"Actually, kale is toxic."
Firewood for Sale
"It's sugar, fat, gluten and lactose free...They say it will help you live longer."
"I need a five letter word that starts with 'Ca'."
"He'll be a little late. He's working on his Wordle."
"Would it be possible for you to take a photo of my meal and post it on social media?"
If it had been today...
"That's a portrait photographer. He take youies."
"Sorry, but I don't see the 'Litter Box Challenge' going viral."
"What is your N-Ration?. . . Selfie per minute Narcissus ratio?"
'Helen, I can't believe you haven't tried shrink wrap! It's the latest thing.'
"Alright, I admit stopping to take a selfie outside of the bank, was a mistake."
'. . . You're starting an anti-social network. . .'
"It's lactose-free! It's chemistry-free! It's free from animal by-products! It's the milk without milk!!!"
"I have a food intolerance - I can only eat photogenic food."
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