Facial Hair Fanatic Gifts

"The rest of the flock and I feel you're displaying a lack of sensitivity with those 'muttonchops'."

30 Days Has Movember

Beard, socks and sandals.

Distinguished Goat

My Life in Beards.

Beards and Facial Piercings

Man with fake beard gets a package from the Beard of the Month club.

This year we all got beards!

"It's from the United Nations - They say your beard is out of compliance."

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

"Here, have one on me."

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Artist using his beard as a paintbrush.

'Isn't it enough to have long hair?'

'I ain't grinnin' at you, stranger- it's this damn moustache!'

'last night she spat in my face. My mustache caught alight.'

A man with long beard is looking at Beard Monthly magazine which has a long centerfold featuring a long beard.

When's the last time you shaved, little buddy? Why do you ask? Because not all men can pull off the "rugged stubble" look. Stubble has to come in evenly, or you look like you've caught mange. I'd hate to be one of those guys. I'm about to hold you down and swipe at your with a straight razor, but it's as a friend.

"She has your soul patch."

"You've got some food or something in your moustache."

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

The Beard in the Stone

Movember

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

"Are you growing that mustache to make me break up with you?"

"In an effort to be more transparent, I've grown back my evil goatee."

You can tell when the blades get dull on your rotary nose-hair clippers.

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

"And where do you see your mustache in five years?"

'It's a chinstache. They were popular in the 1800's, but now they're coming back.'

"One man with a mustache is manly. Sexy. Magnetic."