Facial Fanatic Gifts

"Apricot pit?! Are you kidding, Mister? This stuff knocks raw avocado and almond nut outta the water!!!"

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Italica

Quills - Sizes 1-9

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

30 Days Has Movember

"You've got some food or something in your moustache."

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

Lazy plumber.

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

"That explains all the cavities."

People leave joke shop with false moustache, nose and glasses marketed as 'the Robert Winston'.

Sales

"You can get good cards but still have terrible luck."

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

Street painter puts real face on man with happy face.

The Graphic Designers EYE EXAM

A Friend in Need.

'Yes, we can get all this into your ad, but we'll have to set the copy in 0.00005 point type.'

"Oh, it's not just the sign. Everything here is set in Comic Sans."

Gender Specific Bath Towels (Hers)

'Sorry.. I don't date lower-case types.'

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

'It's a nice font but before deciding we'd really like to see your font library.'

"I'll take your word for it. You don't have to show me your used floss."

"Yeah, the Declaration of Independence is beautiful! What font is that?"

"It's a deal. Help me find the acorns I buried and I'll help you find your bones."

The most important part of your job application. Font selection.