Facial Hair Enthusiast Gifts

The focus group thinks it's time you got rid of the beard.

"I didn't mind the moustache, Cosgrove, But we definitely have a 'No mustachio' policy."

'Victim has third-degree coverage across 46% of his face! We need to get him to the trauma center, stat!'

'Take a little off the top and put it on my face.'

I'm thinking of growing a moustache...

Beard

A Walrus moustache.

'Movember is over...I want it off!'

Baleen Whale and Baleen Man.

"You look so different without your beard!"

Movember

'Believe it or not, my husband finds my goatee very attractive...'

You can tell when the blades get dull on your rotary nose-hair clippers.

'A woman can't do your job because women don't have beards?? HA! You should have known my mother!'

'The beard helped some -- now try letting your hair grow and combing it down over your face.'

"Do you think I should dye the mustache?

How to wear a false moustache.

"How about a mustache? Everyone's wearing them."

"My great-great-aunt Juanita worked in the circus! She was a bearded lady!"

"Don't be fooled by the moustache. I'm not Hitler, I'm Chaplin."

"My only regret is asking you to shave your beard."

See the amazing non-bearded man!

Clock Tower Shadow

"Yes but I had one before they were trendy."

"You did it, Harold - you got rid of that moustache!"

How men accessorize

"Notice anything different about me?"

"Remember, grow a moustache and you'll end up in a Siberian chain gang."

Carl, his mustache, Jerald, and his eyebrows, Leonard and Reggie.

"I've never been able to convince a mustache to move in with my face."

The mustache of spite and revenge

Compensating? What do you mean?

Harrison Ford, no question. Tom Selleck. Without a doubt. I don't care if they did offer Selleck the role first, Ford was a much better "Indiana Jones." I don't care if they did offer Selleck the role first, Ford was a much better "Indiana Jones." Ford was ok, but his character was less that manly. What are you talking about? That's ridiculous! Harrison Ford was the definition of eighties manliness! You're telling me the "definition of eighties manliness" could run around the world for weeks and

"When's the last time you shaved, little buddy?"

How Cartoon Characters Shave. (Frank applies White Out to his whiskers.)