Facial Hair Gifts

'I don't know why, with a face that ugly he has to underline it.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'Victim has third-degree coverage across 46% of his face! We need to get him to the trauma center, stat!'

"And then she slapped my face, injuring my beard."

The beard and moustache movement - lady approached by bearded railway guards thinks she is being attacked by brigands

'Oh, you needn't be unduly concerned, sir -- this year, we're auditing everybody with silly mustaches.'

A Walrus moustache.

'It's a chinstache. They were popular in the 1800's, but now they're coming back.'

"Forget Movember, I'm doing Maovember."

"I should warn you that I've stopped thinking of my moustache as ironic."

"Oh yeh! Well my dad's beard is bigger than your dad's!"

Moustached Man

"...and another thing - I don't like your moustache."

"Never trust a pig with a moustache..."

This year we all got beards!

Baleen Whale and Baleen Man.

"He's warm, and god, is he fuzzy!"

"It's a UN resolution against your beard."

It's Movember shut up and grow a mustache.

'...and that's my great-great-great uncle Wilbur. He died of smoke inhalation when his mustache caught on fire.'

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"Don't be fooled by the moustache. I'm not Hitler, I'm Chaplin."

Santa shaves

'No way you're getting in here with THAT mustache!'

Man with big furry mustache drives car with grill that looks like same.

Man needs bait. Pulls fish-shaped mustache off face and applies it to hook.

'A woman can't do your job because women don't have beards?? HA! You should have known my mother!'

"She says she doesn't relate to men with moustaches."

'Here's to our buddy Mitch and a wild birthday party weekend. Remember, fellas. . . what happens in mustache stays in mustache!'

'I didn't like my moustache at first. Then it grew on me.'

"I see you've reshaped your moustache for your first day in management."

Proud parents of the first test tube moustache.

"Get rid of that. You're supposed to show a stiff upper lip!"

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'