Facial Expression Analyst T-Shirts

"Always had difficulty expressing my anger. Even before the botox injections."

"It's a common misconception that resting bitch face affects only women. Statistically, it's a man's disease."

He doesn't look sorry!

'The usual ‘nod, nod, wink, wink' will do, Walter. We don't need the eyebrow twitch and nostril flares.'

"How long were you in that headstand?"

"You're overthinking it. Sometimes a belly rub is just a belly rub."

Medical Cabinet

Body Language - "Guess why I'm annoyed."

'Listen, Geoffrey ...I know you're a clinical psychologist, but I DON'T have A.D.D. ! You're just incredibly boring.'

Vladimir Putin 101: Saying the Opposite of What You Mean

'He can toot his own horn but when he starts tooting the government's we need to step in.'

'Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out, if I'd gotten Mom's eyes and Dad's hair.'

"Don't be fooled. Chaos reigns."

'You don't look like your passport photo.'

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

"It's his body language. All I hear is snorting, burping, and ominous rumblings from his lower extremities."

"I hate it when they dress you with their eyes."

A man and a woman at a house party

'Everything OK?'

"I'm very slow to anger, but then I'm very slow to do everything."

UK Censors Office...

'Maybe we should try it without the smile.'

"I'm hitting a wall."

"I would like to reaffirm that my problem is with the imperialists...not with their dollars."

An optimist, a pessimist & an optometrist.

"Meetings are where I've learned to communicate with my coworkers via facial expressions only."

New Umpire Signals

MD-HDTV

Mr. Harris thought his face-lift was a tad too severe.

"Well, was it the scowling grunt of no-way or the scowling grunt of okay?"

'Sometimes she's like a wave, sometimes she's like a particle.'

"When I actually was this age, I didn't have much facial expression anyway."

"Please stay on the line while we try to locate someone in tech support whose accent you'll understand."