Facial Expression Analyst Gifts

"Always had difficulty expressing my anger. Even before the botox injections."

"It's a common misconception that resting bitch face affects only women. Statistically, it's a man's disease."

He doesn't look sorry!

'The usual ‘nod, nod, wink, wink' will do, Walter. We don't need the eyebrow twitch and nostril flares.'

"How long were you in that headstand?"

"You're overthinking it. Sometimes a belly rub is just a belly rub."

Body Language - "Guess why I'm annoyed."

Medical Cabinet

'Listen, Geoffrey ...I know you're a clinical psychologist, but I DON'T have A.D.D. ! You're just incredibly boring.'

Vladimir Putin 101: Saying the Opposite of What You Mean

'He can toot his own horn but when he starts tooting the government's we need to step in.'

'Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out, if I'd gotten Mom's eyes and Dad's hair.'

"Don't be fooled. Chaos reigns."

'You don't look like your passport photo.'

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

A man and a woman at a house party

"I hate it when they dress you with their eyes."

Step into my office. We need to talk. About what? Does it matter? We need to talk is never good. We need to talk is a harmless phrase that isn't necessarily ominous. Well … ok, coming in. Collar grabbing is also a much-maligned gesture, don't you think? D'oh!

Eye contact zone next 50 feet.

Motion denied. Your lips say "motion denied," but your eyes say "approach the bench."

"It's his body language. All I hear is snorting, burping, and ominous rumblings from his lower extremities."

'Everything OK?'

Donald Trump is a Plagiarist Too

Why the long face?

'Maybe we should try it without the smile.'

"I'm hitting a wall."

"I would like to reaffirm that my problem is with the imperialists...not with their dollars."

"I'm very slow to anger, but then I'm very slow to do everything."

UK Censors Office...

An optimist, a pessimist & an optometrist.

"Meetings are where I've learned to communicate with my coworkers via facial expressions only."

New Umpire Signals

MD-HDTV

Mr. Harris thought his face-lift was a tad too severe.

"When I actually was this age, I didn't have much facial expression anyway."