Facial Aesthetics Explorer T-Shirts

Mr. Harris thought his face-lift was a tad too severe.

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

PROBLEM AREAS

Movember

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

"How long were you in that headstand?"

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"

You can tell when the blades get dull on your rotary nose-hair clippers.

Today I am trying to grow a bit of beard...

'Cosmetic surgery.'

'There was no more putting it off; breast reduction time.'

Clock Tower Shadow

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 8)

'I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I had the whitest teeth!'

'Mess with me if you have to, son, but not with the regimental moustache!'

"I've been feeling more transparent."

Harrison Ford, no question. Tom Selleck. Without a doubt. I don't care if they did offer Selleck the role first, Ford was a much better "Indiana Jones." I don't care if they did offer Selleck the role first, Ford was a much better "Indiana Jones." Ford was ok, but his character was less that manly. What are you talking about? That's ridiculous! Harrison Ford was the definition of eighties manliness! You're telling me the "definition of eighties manliness" could run around the world for weeks and

'Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out, if I'd gotten Mom's eyes and Dad's hair.'

A Suggested Reform in Ballet Costume

"Do you have something cheap but with a really expensive label?"

'A neighbour of mine has just come in - put 'em in a size 4 box, will you?'

"When's the last time you shaved, little buddy?"

Dating is so expensive...

Obstetrics, Gynecology and Waxing.

'It's more like a very good used you.'

'I am reluctant to offer plastic surgery at this time, Miss Caterpillar: Why don't you let Nature take its course?'

'You don't look like your passport photo.'

How to wear a false moustache.

Twig! Please come into my bathroom! Have you been using my makeup? You're paranoid! Everything is in its place. Why would you accuse me? Just a hunch.

'Believe it or not, my husband finds my goatee very attractive...'

"As a kid I was told, 'Act your age.' As an adult I'm told, 'Don't look your age.'"

Plastic Surgeon Kid

"I didn't mind the moustache, Cosgrove, But we definitely have a 'No mustachio' policy."

"And this is what we use for the economy liposuction."