Eyes-on-labels Enthusiast Gifts

"I read all package labels for my health. Now my eyes are shot!"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Trays on desk read, 'Here', 'There' and, 'Neither here nor there.'

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

". . . but he's almost four and he hasn't been labelled yet!"

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

'Sir Steve Austin is here to see you.'

Archeology Dept. Storage. Ernie, this box should be labeled "unidentified pottery fragments," not "pots unknown."

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

"Boneless, gluten free, vegan, grass fed, free range, bananas."

Tofu: Firm, Soft, Amusingly Jiggly

'Can't you come up with something more elegant than 'Dave's Homemade Booze'?'

Roseanne4

Prince.

'Do you remember when food had food in it?'

'The first dozen ingredients in this cereal are various sugars.'

"Do you have a white on the fruity side, with maybe a possum on the label?"

"This year I'm just planting the little signs."

Man reading dog food can: Contains beef and beef by-products.

Are we what we eat and what do we actually eat?

'This chicken was raised on a farm, ate corn and never consumed drugs. That's more than I knew about you when we dated.'

"... stearic acid, amylase, sodium stearoyl lactylate and — hold on. What in the world is C-I-L-A-N-T-R-O?"

'What do you call a pair of ghostly glasses?...Spectre-calls!'

"This brand of sugar looks good. The first ingredient is whole wheat flour."

'A masters in nutrition, Ph.D. in biochemistry - you'll be perfect for writing our labels.'

'I removed the sugar, artificial flavors, coloring, preservatives, and additives. Now the eight ounce box weighs four ounces.'

'I just read the food label. That's why I decided to eat the package instead.'

Spring Water - 0% Trans Fat.

'Caution: this tomato soup combines with our chicken noodle soup can form a lethal nerve gas.'

Man posting a letter in his office faced with various openings

Designer Fit

'If food products were honestly labeled...'

'Yes, I've been working with bees for a long time. Why do you ask?'

"Say - do we really want to bury this Armani necktie?"