Wine Label Aficionado Gifts

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'A cheeky red?'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Sauvignon Bonk

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"Now I really hate poetry."

Bacchus.

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'