Collecting Wine Labels Gifts

"Perfect. Kate and Eli are suckers for bold graphics."

Ol' Drunken Stupor

'What have you got in the way of an imported red that has a label that doesn't look like my cat drew it?'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'A cheeky red?'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

Wine Lady

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

true love.

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

kangaroos hopping around in a vat of grapes to make wine for Australian wine company.

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

"Quick swig first?"

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

Portfolio, 2011

Wine tasting

Red Wine

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".