Red Wine Aficionado Gifts

'The accountants can wait, Tell them I'm tied up in a meeting with representatives from Pomerol Pommard,'

According to a recent medical report, a glass of red wine a day is good for you.

Red Wine

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

Redhead

'If I wrote you a prescription for red wine, I'll bet you wouldn't complain about having to take it five times a day.'

'As a matter of fact, I do prefer red wine to white. How did you ever guess?'

"Honestly, I came here to drink your blood, but this claret is positively delightful!"

". . . when."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'A cheeky red?'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Bacchus.

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"Now I really hate poetry."

Sauvignon Bonk

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."