Eyes-on-labels Enthusiast Pillows

"I read all package labels for my health. Now my eyes are shot!"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Trays on desk read, 'Here', 'There' and, 'Neither here nor there.'

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

". . . but he's almost four and he hasn't been labelled yet!"

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

"Boneless, gluten free, vegan, grass fed, free range, bananas."

Tofu: Firm, Soft, Amusingly Jiggly

'Can't you come up with something more elegant than 'Dave's Homemade Booze'?'

Prince.

'Do you remember when food had food in it?'

'The first dozen ingredients in this cereal are various sugars.'

"Do you have a white on the fruity side, with maybe a possum on the label?"

Man reading dog food can: Contains beef and beef by-products.

"This year I'm just planting the little signs."

Are we what we eat and what do we actually eat?

'I removed the sugar, artificial flavors, coloring, preservatives, and additives. Now the eight ounce box weighs four ounces.'

'This chicken was raised on a farm, ate corn and never consumed drugs. That's more than I knew about you when we dated.'

'A masters in nutrition, Ph.D. in biochemistry - you'll be perfect for writing our labels.'

"This brand of sugar looks good. The first ingredient is whole wheat flour."

'What do you call a pair of ghostly glasses?...Spectre-calls!'

"... stearic acid, amylase, sodium stearoyl lactylate and — hold on. What in the world is C-I-L-A-N-T-R-O?"

'I just read the food label. That's why I decided to eat the package instead.'

'Caution: this tomato soup combines with our chicken noodle soup can form a lethal nerve gas.'

Spring Water - 0% Trans Fat.

Ultimate generics.

"Say - do we really want to bury this Armani necktie?"

'Yes, I've been working with bees for a long time. Why do you ask?'

Man posting a letter in his office faced with various openings

Designer Fit

'If food products were honestly labeled...'