Eyecare Aficionado Pillows

'I think your intraocular pressure is very high.'

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

"My approach is nontraditional, but from a uniquely Western perspective."

'He wasn't doing a bit good, until I changed his glasses.'

Man has applied car wax and sees the whole car melt in the sun.

'No cheating'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

Optometrist Humor

'No thanks. I'm just squinting...'

'You've had the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

'Throw them back They're not what nine out of ten eye doctor's recommend for dry eyes when stranded on a desert island.'

'Inadvertently, Optometrist Niles Frobe triggers the Global Financial crisis' 'You have a bad case of eyestrain. I want you to keep your eyes off the ball for a few weeks!'

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

"Doric Ionic Ozempic"

'Having trouble getting used to your new bi-focals'

'Those look good on you, They help make your nose look smaller,'

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Macula'.

'Sir Steve Austin is here to see you.'

'I think the eye doctor got my prescription glasses mixed up with somebody else's.'

"He did well with his eye exam but was disappointed to find out that laser surgery won't help out his score when he plays laser tag."

So I used body soap to wash my face. Why is that so bad? Details matter. Pay attention to your surroundings. Face soap isn't body soap. Conditioner isn't shampoo. Moisturizer isn't hand lotion. If we're ever going to move in together and have a future you've got to pay attention to me and the nuances about my life. Conditioner isn't shampoo? I'm livid and you have stinky hair!

You know your getting old when you have to put on your reading glasses to trim your eyebrows...

'The smallest line I can read says 'Made In China'.'

Same Day Glasses - "They'll be ready in a month. It's not my fault you couldn't read the fine print."

'I'm after a longer dipstick. This one doesn't reach the oil anymore.'

"What is it going to be, a breakfast or shampoo?"

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

"So I tell the ophthalmologist my eyes have been really sensitive to light lately and what's he do? He shines bright lights right in them!"

Mowing His Hairy back.

'Make sure they fit straight!'