Eye Care Enthusiast Pillows

'Even if everyone does say you're blind, sir, I still have to examine you myself.'

Same Day Glasses - "They'll be ready in a month. It's not my fault you couldn't read the fine print."

'No, Meester Bond... I expect it to cure your astigmatism'

"Wrong, wrong, wrong and wrong. I'd like you to see another specialist. His office is closer to the eye chart."

"I think I see why the eyedrops aren't working."

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

'I told you not to wear your new contacts for more than 12 hours a day.'

'My wife tells me I need glasses but as usual she is wrong'

'Correct! And without looking. You really are the best optician in the country.'

'Oh stop complaining. Now you only need to use the eye drops once a week.'

"Your retina is badly scratched for some reason. I'd recommend an eye patch."

Ophthalmologist, Optometrist, Optician, Optimist.

'How long to make prescription sunglasses? As long as it takes the green paint to dry.'

'You really do need new glasses'

Sale. Everything Must Go.

"Miss Jones, get up here and change this eye chart, please!"

"D - I - P - L- O- M- A."

'You are the best optician!'

"The moment you walked through that door, I could tell you needed glasses."

"My wife keeps telling me I need an eye exam, but do you think I need one, sir?"

'Things usually get knocked around in the waiting area when we see a new patient!'

"I'm wondering if the doctor can help with my lazy eye..."

Ophthalmologist

"He did well with his eye exam but was disappointed to find out that laser surgery won't help out his score when he plays laser tag."

"Is this the sign in for the ophthalmology convention?"

"I've been in the desert for a really long time and I've got a bad case of dry eyes. Do you have any eye drops?"

"I've just broken my glasses... Will I have to be examined all over again?"

"Never take yer contact lens out with the wrong hand."

"Well, Mr. Swanson, I don't know that I can help you improve your standing in your focus group, but I can definitely check out your visual focus."

'I am afraid Mr Cyclops, they only come in pairs.'

Eye Drops

'I've got something in my eye, doc.'

'Excuse me sir, have you found and contact lenses in your soup?'

'So, were they able to fit you with contacts even with your bad eyesight?'

Optician: 'I can't seem to switch off.'