Eye Care Devotee Pillows

Is it dark in here, or are my eyes going bad? I have the name of a great optometrist.

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'Wait! Wait a minute! Would you hold my glasses?'

Car wash / Mouth wash

'He wasn't doing a bit good, until I changed his glasses.'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

"How many letters can you read?"

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

'Ha ha... Very funny!'

'No cheating'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

The Graphic Designers EYE EXAM

'Throw them back They're not what nine out of ten eye doctor's recommend for dry eyes when stranded on a desert island.'

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

'Inadvertently, Optometrist Niles Frobe triggers the Global Financial crisis' 'You have a bad case of eyestrain. I want you to keep your eyes off the ball for a few weeks!'

After her laser surgery, Alice was able to read barcodes without an optical scanner.

'Inadvertently, Optometrist Niles Frobe triggers the Global Financial crisis' 'You have a bad case of eyestrain. I want you to keep your eyes off the ball for a few weeks!'

GURLERS

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

Optician and the PI.

'Having trouble getting used to your new bi-focals'

'Those look good on you, They help make your nose look smaller,'

'You say you're having trouble seeing the future.'

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Macula'.

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

"With the new year approaching, I was hoping you could help with my resolution...."

So I used body soap to wash my face. Why is that so bad? Details matter. Pay attention to your surroundings. Face soap isn't body soap. Conditioner isn't shampoo. Moisturizer isn't hand lotion. If we're ever going to move in together and have a future you've got to pay attention to me and the nuances about my life. Conditioner isn't shampoo? I'm livid and you have stinky hair!

"It's a special place where they check the eyes in the back of their heads."

"He did well with his eye exam but was disappointed to find out that laser surgery won't help out his score when he plays laser tag."

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'