Vision Care Aficionado Pillows

Eye care centre: check out our baby boomer bifocal special.

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

Hospital Departments

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

'Now watch our sales increase.'

Musical Eye Test

'No cheating'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

A question you don't want - "How many fingers am I holding up."

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

'Inadvertently, Optometrist Niles Frobe triggers the Global Financial crisis' 'You have a bad case of eyestrain. I want you to keep your eyes off the ball for a few weeks!'

'Throw them back They're not what nine out of ten eye doctor's recommend for dry eyes when stranded on a desert island.'

'You're right, Mom. Carrots did give me good eyesight. Now I can spot vegetables I don't like a mile away.'

'You have a 9:00 A.M. appointment with your ophthalmologist to check your vision and a 11:00 A.M. appointment with the staff to rally the troops around your vision.'

Optician: 'I can't seem to switch off.'

'You've haed the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Macula'.

"Oh, come on ref. How can you not see that?!"

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

"He did well with his eye exam but was disappointed to find out that laser surgery won't help out his score when he plays laser tag."

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

"Eye irritation is quite common when Saturn and Jupiter are in this position. It's called conjunctivitis."

I believe there is something wrong with Tommy: He has perfect eyesight...

'The smallest line I can read says 'Made In China'.'

Same Day Glasses - "They'll be ready in a month. It's not my fault you couldn't read the fine print."

'Very good, but not quite 'presidential vision'.'

Groucho Glasses Eye Test

'Cliff! Cliff!.. Where are you Cliff?'