Vision Care Buff Pillows

'No you can't take a copy home to prepare for your eye exam next week'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

Hospital Departments

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

Musical Eye Test

'No cheating'

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

A question you don't want - "How many fingers am I holding up."

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'You have a 9:00 A.M. appointment with your ophthalmologist to check your vision and a 11:00 A.M. appointment with the staff to rally the troops around your vision.'

'I can't wait for a generic version of eyes of newts to come out.'

Optician: 'I can't seem to switch off.'

"I'm here because my vision is getting so bad I can't even see clearly in my dreams at night!"

"Oh, come on ref. How can you not see that?!"

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

"You have superior extra ocular muscle strength - how often do you roll your eyes at your husband?"

'There's no cure, but the good news is we have some great support groups!'

'Very good, but not quite 'presidential vision'.'

Groucho Glasses Eye Test

"Feels like an elephant trunk...."

George Washington's Birthday

"Am I seeing double? You and your twin are the experts, why don't you two tell me!"

Hen to optometrist about chicks: 'I'm here to check my peepers.'

'Cliff! Cliff!.. Where are you Cliff?'

Dr. Harper had a special eye exam chart made for hieroglyphics professor patient.

'Make sure they fit straight!'

"I'm here because I keep bumping into old friends. Like, literally bumping into them."

"Well, Mr. Swanson, I don't know that I can help you improve your standing in your focus group, but I can definitely check out your visual focus."

'It quickly became apparent that Optometry was not the right career choice for Errol'. 'Is that the right one? I can't tell!'

"I'm here for an examination, my ditzy missus thinks I may need glasses."

A Pirate at the Opticians.