Vision Care Advocate Pillows

'They might look sexy and seductive but all I want to do is the crossword.'

'Cliff! Cliff!.. Where are you Cliff?'

' ... and I'd suggest you spend less time surfing the web.'

Health Care

"Everything I see looks like a website captcha. I'm either having vision problems, or I'm spending too much time online."

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

Hospital Departments

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

Dog leading a blind dog and blind person.

Musical Eye Test

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

A question you don't want - "How many fingers am I holding up."

After her laser surgery, Alice was able to read barcodes without an optical scanner.

'Inadvertently, Optometrist Niles Frobe triggers the Global Financial crisis' 'You have a bad case of eyestrain. I want you to keep your eyes off the ball for a few weeks!'

'Those look good on you, They help make your nose look smaller,'

'You have a 9:00 A.M. appointment with your ophthalmologist to check your vision and a 11:00 A.M. appointment with the staff to rally the troops around your vision.'

Optician: 'I can't seem to switch off.'

"I'm here because my vision is getting so bad I can't even see clearly in my dreams at night!"

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

"Would you rather be smart or funny?"

"Oh, come on ref. How can you not see that?!"

"So, did Little Red Riding Hood have really bad eyesight or something?"

'The smallest line I can read says 'Made In China'.'

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

'Very good, but not quite 'presidential vision'.'

Groucho Glasses Eye Test

"Feels like an elephant trunk...."

George Washington's Birthday

"Am I seeing double? You and your twin are the experts, why don't you two tell me!"

Hen to optometrist about chicks: 'I'm here to check my peepers.'

"I'm here because I keep bumping into old friends. Like, literally bumping into them."

"I'm here for an examination, my ditzy missus thinks I may need glasses."

A footballer is having an eye test.