Eyecare Comedian Pillows

Optometrist Humor

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

Jelly I.V.

"The nurse thinks she's sneaky, but I know my meds are in the peanut butter."

'This Beef Wellington is as tough as old boots.'

'I think the eye doctor got my prescription glasses mixed up with somebody else's.'

A man jumps out of a window to avoid an injection.

Dr. BR Smith Optician.

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

IV Bags: Main and Afters

"I'm prescribing stronger glasses for you, and I recommend a neck brace for your smartphone use."

"Is this the ride on lawn mower you advertised?"

"You fought the lawn, and the lawn won..."

"Well, looks like it's time for eyeglasses."

'I'm so embarrassed driving such a filthy vehicle...'

'I am afraid Mr Cyclops, they only come in pairs.'

'Think of it as a tongue depressor on steroids.'

(No caption. Product information on a bag reads, "Miracle Kil for lawns." with the Grim Reaper applying it to his lawn.)

Death with a strimmer (weed whacker)

'It should be changed every 3000 miles? Better change it three times, then.'

"Oh, and remember to roll up the rug the other way when you're done so it'll lie flat again."

Ned Buntz, U.S. Marshall and Frontier Optometrist

'This is so real. When I got back to my car, it was dented on both sides.'

'Okay, Claudia, you're right, next time I'll buy freshly frozen rats!'

Man scraping the snow off his car greets neighbour who is scrapping off advertisements.

"We're playing Redistribution of Wealth."

'I see you tried giving your cat a bath, again.'

'I think your intraocular pressure is very high.'

We've got to do something about this terrible drought - I want you to all go home and wash your cars.

"We have a potential client here in the lobby who is a sailor and and they're wondering if we do 'aye-aye' exams."

'What makes you think he's got worms?'

'Who said that Is there someone there'

Tom got himself retreaded at the same time as his wheels

Shaving with a Very Sharp Blade

"They're resilient."